i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
