i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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