I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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