Duck Duck Cougar?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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