SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
