i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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