based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
