did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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