oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My vagina just recognized that song.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
