David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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