It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
