i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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