bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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