this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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