We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize