I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm both gender and math confused
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize