Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
