you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
