Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
