the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize