he shaved USA in his pubs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize