Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
