then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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