My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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