ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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