Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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