I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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