I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
