U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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