no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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