i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
