Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
