sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I understand Curling. That high.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
