dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
