it's like iHOP with fire
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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