if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
