the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
