At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
