You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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