brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
