Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
