Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize