They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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