yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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