Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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