so explain again why im purple
no
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
