Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
