Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
