i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
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