he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
