And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
