yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
