I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
