i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
