3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Please, let me fuck your mom
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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