There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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