Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
